Your Monday Quickie - Be Nice Or Go Home

Whew.  What a weekend!  As most of you guys know (if you read my blog post on Friday, that is), I attended a bloggers conference in Atlanta on Saturday put on by The SITS Girls.  And it was awesome.  They had great speakers, awesome topics and my head was bubbling over with good ideas and information by the time I left the conference center Saturday evening (the fantastic Pinot Noir from Mirassou, a long time favorite of mine and a sponsor of the conference, that was served may have contributed slightly to said bubbling).  I got back to my friend's house and babbled on about what I learned and poured over my 21 pages of notes for a couple of hours. 
And while most of it was "boring to you - back of the house" blogger stuff (how to better use Pinterest, how to engage with sponsors or brands that fit my blog, blah blah blah.  See, you're nodding off already), there was one topic that I think should resonate with us all (*disclaimer - this next part is going to be a little "female" biased, but, guys, this is relevant to you too, just maybe not quite as intensely). 
The final topic discussed to close out the day focused on how to keep "balance" in your life as a blogger.  Lots of bloggers have families, "real" jobs, outside interests, like to sleep now and then, and have other things in their lives outside of their blog.  And it can be hard to figure out how to make it all fit.  There were four key things I took away from the two speakers that I want to share with you:

1.  Balance Is Bull.
We've all heard about living a balanced life or finding work life balance.  Guess what?  It doesn't exist.  If you're choosing one thing, your denying another.  If you are here, it means you are not there.  It's amazing how freeing it feels to realize that balance is a pipe dream.  Something to strive for that we will never reach. And we all just need to do the best we can with what we have, every day.  

2.  Do Your Least Favorite Task First.
We're all guilty of procrastinating now and then.  I totes do it with the stuff that I really don't want to do because I'm worried it will be hard and I won't be good at it or that I think will be boring.  But those are also the things that keep squawking in the back of my head until I just get them done.  So my new motto is: If Not Now Then When.  That might apply to folding the laundry (hate it with a passion but it's never as bad as I imagine it to be).  Or it might refer to figuring out how to move my blog from Blogger to WordPress (I'll be working on that tomorrow evening).

3.  If It's Not A, "Hell Yeah!" Then It's a, "No."  
I say yes to stuff I don't want to do WAY too often.  And then I end up feeling overwhelmed and resentful.  Which ends up helping no one!  Not the person who asked me to do whatever it is and certainly not me.  One of these days I'll get into what I've been struggling with health wise (it's a big topic and to be honest, I'm still researching it and understanding it), but I'm absolutely certain that a key part of how I got to where I am with my health was through over-extension.  I did too much too often for too many.  So from now on, if it's doesn't resonate with my soul, it's a no.  And with no explanation needed from me.  My no should suffice.

4. Be Nice Or Go Home!
Women can be catty.  My current neighborhood is full of them (thank God for friends in the 'hood - they make living there worth dealing with the bitches). To make themselves feel better, they belittle or step on other women.  It's like seventh grade all over again but with better clothes and makeup usually. And I've never gotten it.  People ask things like, "How's your little blog going?" in that sing song voice, which translates to whatever you're doing with that isn't nearly as important as what I'm doing and must actually be a waste of time. Or, like the woman I overheard at brunch yesterday (which btw, if you're in ATL or ever find yourself there, head to Folk Art in Inman Park.  Super yum and very cute.) talking to one friend about another "friend" that had "helped her tremendously when she first moved here, introducing her to tons of people and making her feel at home but now she just felt she'd outgrown her" and now that friend no longer deserved her friendship.  Deserved her friendship?! What?!  First of all, this crazy thing spent the first fifteen minutes saying "like" every third word and talking about her new loft she's closing on tomorrow, demanding that her brunch partner threaten to leave her job if her boss didn't "hire some more people" and contemplating whether or not the guy at the office that saved her half a pie and then brought it to her later had a crush on her, all while never letting the other woman get a single word in edgewise. 
While I may have cut some slack if this lady had been 22 (she was 35 - heard her say it), I still wanted to turn around and suggest that maybe this "helped her tremendously" friend was actually about to be better off sans her "friendship". Nothing about this twinke seemed nice or concerned with anyone other than herself.  She reminded me of the Stepford Nightmares in my 'hood.  And while many of you who know me are probably waiting to hear what I actually did say to her, I decided the Universe would catch up with her eventually and it didn't need my help, nor she my judgment.  

My point here is that none of us knows what battles the person across the room, or at that neighborhood party or sitting behind you at brunch is really going through.  Nor do we know how important their work on the PTO, or their blog or their job may be to them. Maybe it's the very thing that's helping them to hang on right now and/or it's their joy. I think we would all better served to work on ourselves and make sure we're being the best person we can be and stop judging everyone else.  Better yet, let's stop tearing each other down and start building each other up. If you can't be nice, then go home.  And instead of bowing our heads and listening to the mean ones, instead surround yourself with the nice ones, blow off the crazies, and I would hasten to add, (shameless self plug ahead) read the Daily Brain Vitamins on this blog each morning to help you keep heading in a good direction.  

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.  At least for the next few minutes.  I'll be hanging in ATL working from here for a few days and spending some time with good friends. And speaking of friends (again), I think you should call a friend, text a friend, hug a friend, whisper to a friend and tell them thanks for just being your friend.  Right. Now.  And here's a picture of Lark hanging out on the back porch, watching for squirrels and just enjoying the day.  You're welcome.

Much Shorter Than Gilligan's Three Hour Tour.

The Lake at sunset.

I make friends wherever I go.  In the grocery store line.  At a restaurant.  At the YMCA.  At the DMV.  Waiting at a stoplight (that's only happened once).  Rarely though, do I find that I make friends online.  I have friends that are online, but most always I already knew them and these days use the web as a means of keeping up with them.  

Smitty and Lark hanging on the dock.  Well, Smitty was having to just hang out.  Lark was doing her best impression of an otter all weekend, as usual.  

But this is a crazy world in which we live and things are changing all the time.  For example - this blog.  If you'd told me a few months ago that I'd be writing and posting regularly to a blog, I would have said no way.  No time.  Who's going to read it?  What would I even write about.  But look at that.  I have a blog.  I write when there's a spare moment (which is often after 11pm) and it's a bit unorthodox (sitting in front of the TV maybe with my laptop on my lap).  But I write because it's a creative outlet for me, I seem to stumble across cool stuff that I think other folks might like to know about and crazy stuff seems to happen to me on a regular basis.  All good blogworthy stuff.  A bit neurotic and all over the place, but blogworthy in my mind (and maybe that's the problem) nonetheless.  

This was our Friday night and the very glowy-like figure at the front of the stage is Lyle Lovett, not a ghost.  Although there could be ghosts nearby, since we were at the ATL Botanical Gardens next to Piedmont Park in Atlanta and I'm sure there was a battle there once upon a time.  It's Atlanta after all.  

In starting out this blog, I decided I wanted to see where I could take it beyond just my friends and family (those kinds souls that are stuck reading the crap I write and don't have a choice).  With a gentle push from a good friend who said, "Hey, you needed to know how to make homemade dog food.  Someone else likely needs to know too," I jumped in with both feet and started to try and find ways to expand my audience.  

The view from our dock this weekend.

I have other blogger friends (yes, I also admit you may read other blogs other than mine.  It's ok - you and I have an open relationship.), so I asked around about what they were doing.  And one friend (both real and online), Michelle (you know her as the inventor of the Friday VHH and maker of all things yummy at The Whole Smiths), invited me to join a blogging group on Facebook.  Through that group I've found lots of help, new ideas and great support.  It's through that group that I've been taken underwing and introduced around.  And made some new friends.

Amy from Stow & Tell You

One blogger, Amy E of Stow & Tell You has done one better that just giving me some advice.  She introduced me last week on her blog.  It's what we bloggers like to call a Blogland tour.  Unlike Gilligan's little excursion (please tell me you all know who I'm talking about when I say Gilligan.  He had his own island/show for goodness sake.) this is quick and you don't get stuck anywhere.  Unless your computer hangs on you.  But that's probably because you have a virus or some creepy spy wear or you have WAY too much music on there.  Not because of the tour. 

VHH Cocktails ATL style compliments of The Whole Smiths whole (craft)cocktail recipe this week.

So anyway, while I've been working on the new storefront, learning how to make a sugar wrap to heal wounds and Virtual Happy Hour-ing with The Whole Smiths, she was exposing my blog to her followers.  I'd like to return the favor and ask you to click the link above to her blog and go check her out.  
She's got the DIY thing down!  I'm envious of all of the projects in her project gallery.  She makes it all look so easy!  I've got a few ideas of hers that are on my "I'm going to try it list" now.  And she's been blogging for a while with a great following.  Something else of which I'm envious.  So go check out her blog and then come back and leave me a comment and let me know what DIY projects you might want to try now.  Maybe we can do them together!

Lark is contemplating if she can paddle board AND carry the ball at the same time (she's very ball focused).  Smitty is contemplating why he has to have a sister that wants to chase balls all the time.

And because it's good to pay it not only forward but backwards sometimes too (even if I do get confused about which is which), I'll be introducing a couple of my other blogger friends to you guys in the coming days.  Stay tuned for that.  The Labor Day Weekend may have snuck up on them but we'll be hearing from them soon.

The Hubbs and his four legged mini-me.  They do remind me of one another often.

Until then, get back outside and go enjoy the remaining days of summer.  The Hubbs, Smitty and Lark say Happy Labor Day for those of you in the US and Happy Monday to the rest of you.  I've included a few photos from our Labor Day Weekend just for fun and to completely throw you off, since there really aren't good photos to go along with talking about why I blog and the Blogland Tour thingy.  Think of it as a mini photo tour.  That's two tours in one, folks.
You're welcome.