Your Monday Quickie - Be Nice Or Go Home

Whew.  What a weekend!  As most of you guys know (if you read my blog post on Friday, that is), I attended a bloggers conference in Atlanta on Saturday put on by The SITS Girls.  And it was awesome.  They had great speakers, awesome topics and my head was bubbling over with good ideas and information by the time I left the conference center Saturday evening (the fantastic Pinot Noir from Mirassou, a long time favorite of mine and a sponsor of the conference, that was served may have contributed slightly to said bubbling).  I got back to my friend's house and babbled on about what I learned and poured over my 21 pages of notes for a couple of hours. 
And while most of it was "boring to you - back of the house" blogger stuff (how to better use Pinterest, how to engage with sponsors or brands that fit my blog, blah blah blah.  See, you're nodding off already), there was one topic that I think should resonate with us all (*disclaimer - this next part is going to be a little "female" biased, but, guys, this is relevant to you too, just maybe not quite as intensely). 
The final topic discussed to close out the day focused on how to keep "balance" in your life as a blogger.  Lots of bloggers have families, "real" jobs, outside interests, like to sleep now and then, and have other things in their lives outside of their blog.  And it can be hard to figure out how to make it all fit.  There were four key things I took away from the two speakers that I want to share with you:

1.  Balance Is Bull.
We've all heard about living a balanced life or finding work life balance.  Guess what?  It doesn't exist.  If you're choosing one thing, your denying another.  If you are here, it means you are not there.  It's amazing how freeing it feels to realize that balance is a pipe dream.  Something to strive for that we will never reach. And we all just need to do the best we can with what we have, every day.  

2.  Do Your Least Favorite Task First.
We're all guilty of procrastinating now and then.  I totes do it with the stuff that I really don't want to do because I'm worried it will be hard and I won't be good at it or that I think will be boring.  But those are also the things that keep squawking in the back of my head until I just get them done.  So my new motto is: If Not Now Then When.  That might apply to folding the laundry (hate it with a passion but it's never as bad as I imagine it to be).  Or it might refer to figuring out how to move my blog from Blogger to WordPress (I'll be working on that tomorrow evening).

3.  If It's Not A, "Hell Yeah!" Then It's a, "No."  
I say yes to stuff I don't want to do WAY too often.  And then I end up feeling overwhelmed and resentful.  Which ends up helping no one!  Not the person who asked me to do whatever it is and certainly not me.  One of these days I'll get into what I've been struggling with health wise (it's a big topic and to be honest, I'm still researching it and understanding it), but I'm absolutely certain that a key part of how I got to where I am with my health was through over-extension.  I did too much too often for too many.  So from now on, if it's doesn't resonate with my soul, it's a no.  And with no explanation needed from me.  My no should suffice.

4. Be Nice Or Go Home!
Women can be catty.  My current neighborhood is full of them (thank God for friends in the 'hood - they make living there worth dealing with the bitches). To make themselves feel better, they belittle or step on other women.  It's like seventh grade all over again but with better clothes and makeup usually. And I've never gotten it.  People ask things like, "How's your little blog going?" in that sing song voice, which translates to whatever you're doing with that isn't nearly as important as what I'm doing and must actually be a waste of time. Or, like the woman I overheard at brunch yesterday (which btw, if you're in ATL or ever find yourself there, head to Folk Art in Inman Park.  Super yum and very cute.) talking to one friend about another "friend" that had "helped her tremendously when she first moved here, introducing her to tons of people and making her feel at home but now she just felt she'd outgrown her" and now that friend no longer deserved her friendship.  Deserved her friendship?! What?!  First of all, this crazy thing spent the first fifteen minutes saying "like" every third word and talking about her new loft she's closing on tomorrow, demanding that her brunch partner threaten to leave her job if her boss didn't "hire some more people" and contemplating whether or not the guy at the office that saved her half a pie and then brought it to her later had a crush on her, all while never letting the other woman get a single word in edgewise. 
While I may have cut some slack if this lady had been 22 (she was 35 - heard her say it), I still wanted to turn around and suggest that maybe this "helped her tremendously" friend was actually about to be better off sans her "friendship". Nothing about this twinke seemed nice or concerned with anyone other than herself.  She reminded me of the Stepford Nightmares in my 'hood.  And while many of you who know me are probably waiting to hear what I actually did say to her, I decided the Universe would catch up with her eventually and it didn't need my help, nor she my judgment.  

My point here is that none of us knows what battles the person across the room, or at that neighborhood party or sitting behind you at brunch is really going through.  Nor do we know how important their work on the PTO, or their blog or their job may be to them. Maybe it's the very thing that's helping them to hang on right now and/or it's their joy. I think we would all better served to work on ourselves and make sure we're being the best person we can be and stop judging everyone else.  Better yet, let's stop tearing each other down and start building each other up. If you can't be nice, then go home.  And instead of bowing our heads and listening to the mean ones, instead surround yourself with the nice ones, blow off the crazies, and I would hasten to add, (shameless self plug ahead) read the Daily Brain Vitamins on this blog each morning to help you keep heading in a good direction.  

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.  At least for the next few minutes.  I'll be hanging in ATL working from here for a few days and spending some time with good friends. And speaking of friends (again), I think you should call a friend, text a friend, hug a friend, whisper to a friend and tell them thanks for just being your friend.  Right. Now.  And here's a picture of Lark hanging out on the back porch, watching for squirrels and just enjoying the day.  You're welcome.